Sunday, November 6, 2011

It Gets So Confusing At Times

What gets confusing you may ask? my thoughts, usually....  i still have an interest in submitting and becoming a 'real' masochist, but, not being in the mood to go out, puts a damper on things sometimes. And even when i DO go out, specifically to a fetish event in New York City, i encounter countless Pro Dommes trying to find a way to separate my ends from my means without truly caring about or for the connection one seeks in this 'lifestyle'. Sometimes i have a yearning to attend a private event, knowing no one, but being welcomed just for having the nerve to show up and with the possibility of finding someone who is naturally sadistic and actually gets turned on with the thought of abusing someone like me. But, how do i find such parties? The underground is TRULY underground.....

Saturday, July 16, 2011

The Art of Public Play

i am not one to play in public, PERIOD! It's not something i actively participate in, although i AM a voyeur and enjoy watching public play, it's just that i don't want to play in public, simple. i have been in the scene for about 16 years and i am ALWAYS asked that question on a regular basis. 'How come you don't play in public, Why don't you play at parties?' Well, everyone has a fetish and needs and wants. If someone feels comfortable doing what they do in public, then by all means, I salute you! But, just because you enjoy doing so in public, doesn't mean i have to as well. That's absurd!

Friday, July 15, 2011

Can i Be On Call To Be Abused?

So, i am constantly thinking, ok, maybe i'll call it fantasizing, of what i'd like to do or how i'd like to be used by a Woman. Now, don't get it twisted, i know there are Pro Dommes, Financial Dommes and just Women Who just take advantage of any man They can get Their hands on (And, if You are reading this incorrectly, don't blame me as i am NOT looping all of these Women into one category, i am just using examples to make a point, so PLEASE read what is being written.....), no, i'm not talking about that type of using as that will never be me (Whether it's because i don't have that type of cash or because i am just that smart to NOT give a Woman money just because She says so, that's what my future wife's role is! lol). But, i have a constant feeling of being used and abused by a Woman for the sheer enjoyment of Her being able to use and abuse me without me expecting or wanting anything in return.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Single Tail?!?!? Why me?!?!?

For those who know me, it's been stated multiple times over the years that, my 2 worst enemies are the single tail and the cane! So, why is it that, in the past 2 months, 2 separate Dommes have called upon my services to be Their practice dummy? And to make matters worse, it was specifically for the single tail!!! Now, most people in the scene know that i am a sucker for pretty faces, so i didn't have the balls to say no to either one of the Dommes.

i've abandoned all of You....

But, i shall return...... my thoughts have gotten more creative, fantasies more graphic, desires more needed...... Let the games begin....