Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Missed Opportunities....

So, i find out today that i royally screwed up a great opportunity by being too cautious. i did the exact opposite of what i wanted to do because i gave too much thought to it as opposed to doing what i should have done. Don't you hate when that happens? I was given something on a silver, no, gold platter and because of nervousness, i bungled it. i didn't want to be too forward for fear that i would be looked upon as being too pushy, yet, i played the wrong role at the wrong time and i wish i could go back to that night and get a do-over.

NEVER AGAIN! The timing couldn't have been sooner! A new year starts in less than 24 hours of this writing and my main objective is to not think and just do and worry later! Instincts will take over thinking! i VOW that from now on, as of this writing, i will go with the flow!

And to the Woman Who i messed up this opportunity with, i only hope that i be given the chance to prove that You made the right choice and i promise you that it will be twice, no, three times better than it would have been, than it was! When i get that chance again, TRUST ME, i will NOT disappoint, i will meet all and every expectation!!!!

This is a new year!!!!!

Monday, December 29, 2008

Friday, December 26, 2008

The Need To Be Taken.....


i've realized that my desires are changing and i am about to go deep into what i've always desired since realizing my submissiveness but i can only do that with a Domme Who is mentally capable of not only taking me there but keeping me there as well. That will be the real challenge.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Financial Domination

i never did nor will i ever understand what financial domination is about. To me, it's just a chance for some Woman (Or man) to get something for nothing! A chance to exploit someone who obviously has no life or nothing in life but to give money to a person who is not anywhere near them nor plan on being. i am pretty sure i can use a photo of a very attractive friend and claim to be Her and then milk some poor idiot of his money, as i am sure there are some men out there doing that. What is the appeal to give someone your money when there will never be a face to face meeting, let alone, an actual encounter?

Monday, December 22, 2008

No Suspension

i wish i could report back the going ons at last night's Suspension party, but being that i live in New Jersey and my car is a little snowed in PLUS the fact that the winds last night were horrendous! AND, the sidewalks as well as the streets were coated with ice from the snow, so the risk of going to meet a lovely young Sadist would not have made any sense if i would have died on the way there or on the way back.....

Maybe next month.......

The search continues.....

Saturday, December 20, 2008

So.... Suspension?

i've been hearing about the latest great fetish party in NYC and it's called Suspension. Although i have had several opportunities to go to this event, i've neglected to attend because i fear it will be another version of BYTE, SMack! or any of these parties that i've tired of attending. But, i have been hearing nothing but good things about this event, so i will be attending Sunday evening in hopes that this party is still going strong and that i am able to meet some interesting people that i can communicate with! i already know some of the partygoers that will be in attendance so at least i know i won't feel like an outsider. It is rumored that there is a lot of play at this particular party as i am also a voyeur so this may be a good look! Even if i don't meet any new people, i may witness some good ole fashion BDSM play......

Hopefully.....

Friday, December 19, 2008

Decisions, Decisions

So now I have some decisions to make as I explore deeper into my masochistic desires. Being a houseboy at commercial dungeons have worked well for me in the past in garnering interest from a Domme, but I really don't want to go that route again as the dungeons are more filled with girls Who are given a whip and told 'Go out there and make us some money!', so Their focus isn't really into having men submit to Them, but more so, finding clients to submit to the clients' desire. Nothing wrong with that but it may be a waste of time trying to find that needle in a haystack!

Going to scene parties? Well, good parties usually get boring after a while, especially after you miss the great ones and then the Pro Dommes hear about these events and then it goes back to being about money or obtaining clients.

Online? Tricky. Collarme was a great tool several years ago as it was mostly lifestylers but then the Pro Dommes found out and now 70% of the Domme ads are from Pro Dommes looking for 'professional clients', no personal slaves or anything outside the dungeon. Alt.com? Maybe I'll purchase a gold membership again and see what happens....

The search continues....

So here i am

A bottom with over 13 years of real time experience serving Superior Ladies (Or those Who are paid to act Superior) either at a commercial dungeon or in Their home. my journey for now is to find a Woman or Women Who will help me get my pain tolerance up to a height i've never been to before. To serve a Woman Who delights in seeing me at Her mercy, no matter the situation. A Woman Who gets off knowing that i am suffering for Her, serving Her in the way She deserves and desires. A Woman Who is fun, yet, demanding or at least rigorous in Her Dominance with me.

i've learned so much over the years, yet, i yearn for so much more.... i will continue to place my thoughts here.... thanks Miss Susie for the inspiration!